Hold Onto the Night
by redrider6612
Summary: This is a series of songfics: part 1, Richard Marx's Hold Onto the Night part 2 is a songfic to Heart's Stranded part 3, 'Wish You Were Here' by Hanson.  B&B romance and angst
1. Chapter 1

Hold Onto the Night

Songfic oneshot

Booth woke suddenly, completely disoriented. He was in a strange bed, in a strange room, and there was a naked woman…memories came crashing in and his arms tightened reflexively around her. She stirred and sighed in her sleep and Booth pressed a kiss to her forehead, even as his mind started calling him every name in the book: idiot, fool, twit…his breathing picked up as he remembered what they had done. Oh, God, what they'd done.

_Just when I believed…I couldn't ever want for more_

_This ever changing world….pushes me through another door_

_I saw you smile and my mind could not erase the beauty of your face_

_Just for awhile won't you let me shelter you?_

She'd been drop dead gorgeous, really, he'd never seen her look so…damn, who was he kidding? She was always beautiful, but last night he hadn't been able to take his eyes off her and she was in high spirits, smiling and laughing, hugging everyone—she hugged him twice—until he began to wonder if someone had slipped something into her drink.

_Hold onto the night_

_Hold onto the memories_

_I wish that I could give you something more and I could be yours_

And at the end of the evening, Angela had maneuvered him into driving Brennan home. The grin she gave him as they left made him wonder how long she had known…

_How do we explain something that took us by surprise?_

_Promises in vain, love that is real but in disguise_

_What happens now? Do we break another rule, let our lovers play the fool?_

_I don't know how to stop feeling this way_

He had walked her to her door, and she turned to tell him good night, the light falling just so, lighting up her beautiful eyes, and he knew he had to kiss her. Before he could talk himself out of it, his head dipped and his lips met the incredible softness of hers. His heart stopped at her stillness, then started back up double time as her lips parted on a sigh and she leaned into him, her arms stealing up around his neck. She felt so right, fit so perfectly and he suddenly felt complete.

_Hold onto the night_

_Hold onto the memories_

_If only I could give you more_

They made it to the bedroom and it was there that he finally heard the warnings that had been trying to be heard over the pounding of his heart. He paused, breathing like a marathoner, looking at her in the soft light from the hallway. Her hands were clutching the front of his shirt as though her sense of balance had deserted her, and her eyes, those lovely blue eyes, held a question. Pushing the doubts and questions and complications away, he pulled her close again and kissed her deeply. They made love like they had done it a hundred times before, but with a newness and wonder that made them smile with joy.

_Well I think that I've been true to everybody else but me_

_And the way I feel about you makes my heart long to be free_

_Every time I look into your eyes, I'm helplessly aware_

_That the someone I've been searching for is right there_

Placing another tender kiss on her forehead, he gently freed himself and rolled out of the bed. Groping for his clothes, he pulled them on as quietly as possible. He wouldn't leave without waking her, he just thought it would be easier if at least one of them was clothed. Because he had to leave. The dawn had come and it was time to face the fact that this couldn't work. A lump rose in his throat and he blinked back tears as the truth hit him full force. No matter how right it felt to be with her, no matter that he felt he'd finally found the one he'd been searching for all his life, there was no way for them to be together. He just hoped he didn't hurt her too badly when he told her.

_Hold onto the night_

_Hold onto the memories_

_I wish that I could give you more_

_Hold onto the night_

"Bones," he whispered. He perched his hip on the bed next to her but she didn't stir. "Temperance," he said a bit more loudly, reaching out to touch her shoulder. Big mistake. He marveled at the softness of her skin and he couldn't stop himself from stroking his hand down her arm. Her eyes popped open and she frowned.

"Booth? What…?" she began, confused. Then she flushed a bit and her eyes fell away and he knew she had just remembered. Everything they had done. Every kiss, every sigh, every whisper came crashing in and her wide eyes came back to lock with his.

"I—I have to go," he said softly, regretfully.

Pushing herself up in the bed, clutching the blankets to her chest, she stared at him. "Okay, yeah, I understand, I'm sure you have things…"

Booth fisted his hands on his knees, fighting the overwhelming need to hold her as he said the words that would break her heart. "Temperance, this can't ever…that is, we can't be…what I mean to say is this was a mistake," he said huskily, his eyes searching hers for understanding.

Her eyes flew wide and her mouth dropped open and all she could do was stare at him for a long moment. Then her pride asserted itself and her mouth snapped shut, her lips forming a thin line. "No, it wasn't," she said evenly. "Tell yourself whatever lies you need to in order to live with yourself, but don't expect me to believe them," she finished on a whisper.

"Listen, Bones," he began, making an abortive move to touch her. She jerked back and he sighed. That was what he wanted, wasn't it? He stood as she stared at him coldly. "It just wouldn't work," he said finally.

"Whatever," she said. "I never took you for a coward, Booth. I guess I didn't know you as well as I thought I did." As she turned her head away, he thought he saw tears, but he couldn't hear any trace of them in her voice. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get up. You can let yourself out."

Booth stood there another long agonizing moment, his certainty that this was the right thing to do suddenly deserting him. She'd called him a coward, something nobody else had ever called him before, and he wondered if she was right. Throat tight with tears, he picked up his suit jacket and turned to go. He glanced back once at the bedroom doorway. She hadn't moved and Booth felt his heart contract. She was hurt and he was afraid she'd never forgive him. Maybe he didn't deserve forgiveness. She had trusted him not to break her heart and he'd betrayed that trust.


	2. Chapter 2

Stranded

By Heart

songfic

_Standing here helpless, where do I go if you leave me alone?_

_Where do I turn now if it don't work out?_

_As far as I can see, this isn't the way that you said it would be_

Brennan held in the tears until she heard the front door close behind him. Falling back against her pillow, she let them flow at last, pulling the pillow that smelled like him close to her chest as sobs racked her body. She lay that way a long time, curled into a ball of misery, calling herself a fool. She had trusted him like she had never dared trust anyone else.

_Don't leave me like this_

_Don't leave me stranded_

_If you walk away now_

_You leave me empty handed_

_Don't leave me like this_

_Don't leave me stranded_

_Don't leave me now_

_Don't leave me_

She called in sick, something she rarely did, but she really didn't feel up to facing Angela's probing stare and the inevitable questions she didn't want to answer. She spent the day in her sweats, crying off and on, at other times so angry she had to force herself not to throw things. Moments from the night before kept flashing before her eyes and her skin tingled as she remembered his touch and she could feel her heart breaking even though she told herself that was a physiological impossibility. Her practical side asserted itself late in the afternoon. There was no point dwelling on it. It had happened and he didn't want her and he'd moved on. She could do it too.

_Wasn't it you who brought me here_

_To the place lovers go?_

_Just look at these arms, reaching out to you_

_You said that you'd always care_

_I just turned around and there's nobody there_

She treated him with cool detachment as they worked the case. He was trying to be just as detached, but she sensed it was harder for him. More than once she felt him looking at her, only to glance away when she turned. It made sense. He was the heart person, as she had said on more than one occasion. She was glad. She didn't want it to be easy, in fact, a secret, vindictive part of her wanted him to suffer. And he did, for over two weeks.

_Don't leave me like this_

_Don't leave me stranded_

_If you walk away now_

_You leave me empty handed_

_Don't leave me like this_

_Don't leave me stranded_

_Don't leave me now_

She was in her office typing a report when he came in and stood in front of her desk, his stance unnaturally stiff. She didn't look at him, just let him stand there while she finished typing, using the time to shore up the walls around her heart, then she turned after she had hit print.

His hands were in his pockets, balled into fists. "I-I've requested reassignment," he said in a cracked voice. That got her attention. She leaned back in her chair, speechless. "I can't work this way, with this hanging between us," he said, his eyes asking for understanding.

"So, the coward's running away," she said acidly. She winced inwardly. She hadn't meant to sound so bitchy.

He flushed with anger. "If you think this was an easy decision, you're wrong. It's the second hardest thing I've ever done."

Her eyebrows rose. "Really? What was the first?" she asked, curious in spite of herself.

"Walking out your door the other night," he confessed. She had no reply to that. "They'll send my replacement tomorrow."

She took a deep, steadying breath. "What will you do?" she asked, then mentally kicked herself for sounding like she cared.

"I'll still be in homicide, just not…your kind." He waited for her to say something, to ask him not to go, but she stayed silent. "Well, goodbye," he said softly, turning to go.

"Booth," she said quietly. He turned back, his expression unreadable. "Take care of yourself."

He gave her a glimmer of a smile. "I will. You take care too, okay Bones?" And then he was gone. She spun her chair so that her back was to the door as tears choked her.

_You said that you'd always care _

_I just turned around and there's nobody there_

_Don't leave me like this_

_Don't leave me stranded_

_If you walk away now_

_You leave me empty handed_

_Don't leave me like this_

_Don't leave me stranded_

**A/N: I know I hinted there would be fluff in this chap, but when musie heard the lyrics, she went angsty on me, but don't worry! I've already chosen the song for the next chap, 'Wish You Were Here' by Hanson. Yep, I'm a Hanson fan, one of my guilty pleasures. I should have it posted tomorrow, it's almost done already.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here you go, the final installment. Let me know what you think.**

Wish I Was There

By Hanson

Songfic

Booth rolled over and punched his pillow for the third time. Settling down again with a sigh, he tried once more to fall asleep. He wondered if Bones was having any trouble sleeping…Damn! He sat up and squinted at the clock. 2 a.m.! He groaned. He hadn't had a decent night sleep in a week, ever since he'd been reassigned. By his own request. Damn fool that he was.

_The sun has fallen_

_Another day goes without you_

_My heart keeps calling_

_And I don't know just what to do_

_When you're near me_

_I seem to forget my lonely days_

_It's more than a feeling_

_It's something that can't be explained_

Padding into the kitchen, he got himself a glass of milk and took it into the living room, turning on the T.V. He watched an infomercial for some kind of kitchen gadget as he sipped his milk, trying not to think about her. Failing miserably because he missed her so damn much.

_I wish that I was there_

_I wish that I was there_

_When you're not here_

_I wish that I was there_

_I wish that I was there_

_I wish that I was there_

_When you're not here_

_I wish that I was there_

The milk was gone and the infomercial was over, replaced by another one about some kind of exercise gadget guaranteed to give you sexy abs. Booth's thoughts turned to the night that was never far from his thoughts. He'd hoped time would dim the memories. Instead they were magnified to the point that the emotions, the feel of her skin, every sigh and whisper overtook him, making his heart race and his breathing build until he couldn't stand it. His hand tightened around the glass and he fought the urge to throw it at the T.V.

_You were falling and now I'm coming round the bend_

_I was callin', 'cuz without you, it's the end_

_I just wanna see you a little more_

_I just wanna dream of you some more_

_I just wanna see you a little more_

_I just wanna be with you some more_

Three in the morning and he was standing in front of her door. He rang the doorbell again. It was taking all of his courage not to bolt. Maybe she was right. Maybe he was a coward. Maybe he didn't deserve her—the door jerked open and he stood staring at her like an idiot.

"Well?" she demanded, standing there in her blue satin robe, her hair bed-tousled, her eyes flashing with anger. "Have you come to rub it in?" she asked roughly.

"Can I come in?" he asked with the last of his nerve.

His desperate tone, coupled with his haggard look, was her undoing. She nodded jerkily and motioned him in, closing the door behind him.

_I wish that I was there_

_I wish that I was there_

_When you're not here_

_I wish that I was there_

_I wish that I was there_

_I wish that I was there_

_When you're not here_

_I wish that I was there_

They sat stiffly at opposite ends of the couch. She didn't ask him if he wanted something to drink, he didn't apologize for waking her. She was determined to let him speak first, because if she started, she was afraid she might say something else she might regret.

_And you make me feel_

_Won't you tell me when you're not here_

_It's been raining here_

_And I just want you to be near_

_I just wanna see you a little more_

_I just wanna dream of you some more_

_I just wanna see you a little more_

_I just wanna be with you some more_

"You're right, you know," he finally said hoarsely. Her gaze snapped to meet his. "I'm a coward."

Brennan sighed and closed her eyes. "I never should have said that," she muttered. Opening her eyes, she looked at him sadly. "I was angry, striking out, trying to hurt you. It's not true. You're the bravest man I know."

Booth bent his head, staring at his hands. "No, not when it comes to this." He looked back up to find her staring at him, her brow furrowed. "I tried to run from it, from us. I told you it was a mistake, but the truth is the mistake I made was in believing that I could just forget about it. The minute I kissed you, there was no going back. I've been trying, but I keep coming back to how much I care about you." He swallowed thickly, struggling to put his feelings into adequate words. "The question is, can you forgive me?" he asked.

She blinked rapidly and looked away. He wasn't just asking for forgiveness. He was asking her to trust him again. She didn't trust easily, and after what he'd done, she would have been justified not to trust him ever again. She looked at him again. He was watching her steadily, ready to accept her decision, good or bad. God, she had really missed him. She just didn't know if she was ready.

_I wish that I was there_

_I wish that I was there_

_When you're not here_

_I wish that I was there_

_I wish that I was there_

_I wish that I was there_

_When you're not here_

_I wish that I was there_

Her lips twitched as she controlled the tears that were there, threatening to break out. "I—I forgive you," she rasped, then cleared her throat as relief flooded his face and he moved closer to her. "I just don't think I can trust you yet," she whispered as a tear broke past her defenses and rolled down her cheek. Booth reached out and caught it with his thumb.

"I understand," he said regretfully. His knuckles grazed her cheek tenderly as his eyes moved over her features as though he was committing them to memory. When he moved to rise, her hand on his arm stopped him.

"Maybe we could take it slow?" she asked with a catch in her voice. For a moment the words didn't register and he stared at her dumbly. Then hope lit his face.

"Yeah," he agreed softly, relieved. "Can I kiss you?" he asked hoarsely.

Her smile was tinged with sadness that he was asking permission his time. "Actually, I was going to kiss you," she said.

The lump in his throat prevented a verbal response, but he'd barely begun to nod when her lips were suddenly touching his. He exercised every ounce of his self control to allow her to control the depth and length of the kiss and he was rewarded as her tongue gently probed for entrance. Opening to her, his head spun as she kissed him deeply, slowly, as though savoring the taste of him. She was flushed and breathing heavily by the time she drew back and her eyes fluttered open to look at him soberly.

"So, I'll see you Monday?" she asked hopefully.

He smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure I can get Cullen to reassign me. He wasn't too happy when I put in the last request." His smile faded. "So, we're okay now?"

"No," she replied, and his heart sank until he detected the smile tugging at her lips. "But we're getting there," she said with a hint of her former teasing self. In light of what he'd done, it was more than he had dared hope for.

BBBBBBBB

**A/N: I know, I promised it would be more fluffy, but I really don't think she would be very quick to trust him again after what he'd done. Please let me know what you think of my first attempt at a songfic. Thank you for reading.**


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